(USA Today) -- Pacing. Making phone calls. Exchanging wry jokes. Chain-smoking on the curb.
No, not Prince William, father of the world's most famous baby boy. That was the gathered media, which sweated it out for more than 13 hours as Duchess Kate labored to give birth to her 8-pound, 6-ounce baby boy in the Lindo Wing at St Mary's Hospital on Monday.
Cue the tweets, puns and GIFs from the masses.
"HEIR IT COMES," shouted The Sun on its website, linking to a live blog, pictures and a "royal baby monitor" -- otherwise known as a live feed of the static hospital doors. (Sites like The Daily Mail and UsWeekly.com had live feeds, too, lest they be left out of the fun.)
BuzzfeedUK mocked up a GIF from The Lion King, showing Prince William raising baby Simba over his head in dramatic proclamation. "The only royal baby GIF you need today," @BuzzfeedUK said in a tweet.
"How can you tell when there's about to be a royal baby? When they start crowning. I'll be here all week," joked Ellen DeGeneres on Twitter. Her executive producer Andy Lassner added one to the pile: "Breaking: @amandabynes calls #RoyalBaby ugly and threatens to sue," he tweeted.
Nor did Kanye West escape unscathed. In a popular meme, the rapper's photo was emblazoned with his Taylor Swift MTV Video Awards takedown, altered to address Princess Kate: "Yo Princess Kate, I'm really happy for you and ima let you finish your pregnancy," read white block letters covering his photo. "But Kimye was the greatest baby announcement of all time, of all time!"
The Sun also Photoshopped a picture of what they think the infant looks like -- an attempt BuzzfedUK called "terrifying."
New York magazine passed the hours with a gallery of the "Weirdest Scenes from Kate Middleton's Hospital," including a photo of a doctor standing in front of the hospital doors, captioned: "OH MY GOD, IT'S ... just a hospital employee, wearing scrubs."
Jezebel distracted itself by writing about a "terrifying" life-size, 200-pound cake made in the duchess' likeness. "Princess Cake Middleton is 5'6", over 200 pounds, and mostly made of Rice Krispies Treats and butter pound cake," they reported.
Of course, there were parody Twitter accounts. @RoyalEasel personified the gilded board the baby news was to be announced on. "Bearer of good news," reads the feed's bio. "Eventually. In the meantime, just sitting here on the gravel. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting."
And fake accounts for Queen Elizabeth (@Queen_UK) and Prince Charles (@Charles_HRH) stayed busy. "Camilla has been busily knitting baby clothes. The last thing one needs is another naked Royal in the newspapers," wrote fake Prince Charles, a winking nod to Prince Harry.
For its part, the Guardian offered those trying to escape the #royalbaby storm an out. By clicking the words "Not a royalist?" on the top right of the website, all baby news vanished, replaced by world headlines, sports news and analysis.
A crowning achievement in restraint, indeed.